Befriend your child
Have you ever thought of being friends with your child?
If you feel that being friends and being parents are totally two different paths, you are absolutely right.
But being friends with your child doesn’t mean you have to start behaving like them. It simply means you have to make your child understand your point of view in their manner and understand them not as parents but as friends.
There are certain things which a child will never understand if you simply explain. But they might understand when you tell them the pros and cons and make them understand why you are saying something.
There is nothing wrong in being friends with your child if:
- You let your child have the comfort of talking his mind and heart in front of you.
- You let your child take his own decisions, instead your role is just to explain what’s right and what’s wrong.
- You just let your child be himself. Don’t pressurize your child to behave in a manner you want him to behave.
- You become your child’s confidant. They are able to share the secrets with you, without you being judgmental.
- You are a friend to your child to the extent your child’s need is fulfilled. A parent needs to remain a responsible adult throughout.
It is for the parents to decide what’s more important, making your child understand, or simply being strict and judgmental.
How can you be friends with your child?
- Be true to your child: Whatever you say to your child, never lie. Always be honest. The child trusts you more than anyone in the world. Never ever break his trust, or else this friendship will not sustain. Even when you are not able to fulfil child’s wish, explain him the situations in best possible manner and make him understand, rather than creating false stories around it.
- Communicate with your child: It is very important to know what’s going on in your child’s life. Asking about how their day was, and actively listening and reverting on what child explains is essential. The effective communication will create a very strong bond between you and your child, which will help keep the friendship alive too.
- Help them improve, but at their own pace: Every parent wants their child to be perfect and do their best. But it’s important to understand from the child’s point of view as well. In addition to praising them and making them more confident; encourage them to do better in areas where they lack. As a friend try to understand their situation and let them learn things at their own pace.
While being a friend, it’s equally important that you stay as much responsible as just being a parent. When a parent becomes a friend, it’s for a life-time. Playing this dual role and balancing these roles as per requirement is definitely challenging but it may be of great help in upbringing your child in the best possible way. (Read: What motivates a child)
Just trust your instincts and decide when you need to be a parent and when your child needs a friend.